


Verges

by websthetics



Series: Nothing Much is Cis [1]
Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Gen, Gender Identity, Genderfluid, Genderfluid Character, Religion, Religious Guilt, Trans Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:56:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3437780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/websthetics/pseuds/websthetics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Characterization of Verges as genderfluid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Verges

**Author's Note:**

> I have the headcanon that Verges is genderfluid and thought I'd write up how that feels for them. Btw I am trans/nonbinary/genderfluid and was raised Catholic, so that's kinda where I got some of this from.

It’s like being lost at sea. What wave will wash over you next? The shame and the guilt that your mother taught you, “It’s original sin, original sin, darling.” And you’re just another depraved soul. Sometimes you can pretend that you are your mother’s daughter, trying to keep the devil from infiltrating you. And it’s partially true. Sometimes you feel like a girl and you certainly don’t think Satan sounds like a very nice guy. But mostly you want to fix things; make thing a little bit better for anybody you can, whether that’s returning a lost pen or uncovering a devious plot. But mostly you want to fix yourself. How can you be anything except broken? Those days when you feel like neither girl nor boy, but something else entirely; like you’re set out at sea; nothing except for the expanse of blue; with each wave a new feeling washes over you. Or maybe the ocean is outer space; the press of nothing among an infinity of stars, galaxies and galaxies. Then like a raindrop, you fall back to earth; living among the clean, clean dirt. You rise again, a boy this time, muddy hands. And you’re going home; and your mother calls out to her daughter, her little girl; and you close your mouth over the information that you’re a boy today, thank you very much; because you don’t want to hear that you’re some sort of demon crawling up from the seventh circle of hell. Some days you feel like that; unable to banish the evil within, you feel like you are evil, dirty, and wrong. But today you’re a boy, or is that the girl creeping in again? You’re both, sometimes neither, or one or the other, or something else entirely; it’s all very confusing but also not because it’s you. 

Your name is Verges because you’re always on the verge of something.


End file.
